Wednesday, October 03, 2007

The age I wish to go back to......

A new blogger friend, Amidrin started a tag on The Age That I Wish To Go Back To. I have been scratching my head for few days.

Memories, snapshots, incidents, and the years since school days flashed in my mind. Too fast, I couldn’t think of what age I would like to go back to.

12 for the innocence? 16 for the youth? 21 for the early adulthood? There are many things we regret in life. Regret treating who and who badly, regret neglecting your loved ones, snapped at them, worst, when you couldn’t be there for them when they need you.

I wish to go back to year 2002 when I was 23. Graduated from Penang, I came to Sg in March, leaving behind all beloved ones, ie. dad, mom, sis, bros, niece and mama (our beloved nanny).

Mama fell sick before I left for Penang. She said she’ll wait for me, she’ll see me graduate. She did. I last visited her when I was about to leave for Sg in March’02. She said, she’ll wait for my wedding day. And so I hung on her words. I vowed that I would buy food for her, with my first pay check.

I found my first job in 1.5 months and started work for 2 weeks before making a trip to KL. Back home, when I voiced out to mum, saying I wanted to visit mama. She told me in the car “mama has passed on”. I was stunned. I said “no…. mama said she’ll wait for me to get married. And I have not even got my first pay!”

Mum said mama passed away the very first few days I started work and family kept it from me coz worried it may affect me. I cried and cried, from KL, back to Sg. I am still crying today if I talk about her. I feel sad, coz I didn’t attend her wake, her funeral and say bye to her.

Mum stopped me from visiting mama at the mortuary for years. Last year I finally managed to persuade her. I kneeled and cried. Before visiting mama, she was always alive, her voice kept calling me “Ah May, now grown up already”, “Ah May, when did you come back from Penang?”, “Ah May, when are you leaving again?”

Now, I accepted the fact that mama has left. But her voice is always in my mind. If I could turn back time, and I know mama will be leaving me, I would postpone my trip to Sg. I would stay home and spend more time with her.

But then… that if we know………..
Now, what age would you wish to go back to?
1) Kev
2) Nesh
5) Katherine

******************Start copy************************
Title: The Age That I Wish To Go Back To
Requirement: Write about the one age that you wish to go back to and why?
Tag Mode: 5 blogger
1st - You leave their blog and post link and add to the list below.
2nd - Let the blogger you want to tag know they been tagged by comment in their blog or etc.

The Age that they Wish to Go Back to:
Amidrin wish to go back to age 22 to correct back some mistakes in life.

6 lil' thoughts:

Amidrin on 9:39 PM said...

Such a touching memories you have with your grandma. Reading your post I can feel how sad and lost you feel back then... it's almost like loosing your first love. Truely would be the best thing happen if you could really go back time ya.

Thanks for doing this tag. ;p

宝茹 on 12:42 AM said...

I am sorry... :(

Your story though sad, is very touching, but I hope you can smile now remembering your grandmother and all the wonderful memories with her. :)

Thanks for the tag, by the way. I will work on it as soon as I can. :)

jam on 4:49 PM said...

A really touching memories of you. I had the similar experience once I was in Melbourne a couple of years ago.

KeV's wAlKAbOuT on 2:59 PM said...

So sad... haiz... but hey, I'm sure ur mama would want you to succeed in ur work ... and the best way to repay her is to pay it forward... pay forward her love for you to those who need it. =)

Apple on 11:43 AM said...

Feel sorry over your lost. But keep up the spirit of working hard and be successful, your mama will be really proud of you.

I've done your tag. Here you go.

Gyles said...

Here, I do not actually think this is likely to have success.
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