Some Jokes

I am in the class now, feeling so bored, so, browsed through some forum and found these jokes. Share with you two that I like.

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A woman after my own heart

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her purse, extracted ten dollars and asked:
"If I give you this money, will you buy a pair of shoes instead of dinner?"
"No," I had to stop buying new shoes years ago, the homeless woman replied.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked.
"No I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. "Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight."

The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your hubby be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and buying new shoes."

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Why Men Have Better Friends

Friendship between Women:

A woman didn't come home one night.

The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.

The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship between Men:

A man didn't come home one night.

The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.

The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.

Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.