Sunday, September 20, 2009

Different Perception of Happiness perhaps...

A is a close friend. She has a boyfriend called B.

A & B met and got together 3 years ago. In the 3 years of relationship, there have been a lot of quarrels.

“Need for freedom”: A said of what B wants.

“Overly controlling”: B said of what A does.

I do not know both side of the story, but each time, when I saw A with swollen eyes, my heart went all out for her.

Any woman deserves better man.

If I were her, I would have left long time ago. And that’s what I told her. But she wouldn’t be able to do it. She couldn’t even stand not sending any contact in the day, even when they were fighting and he obviously didn’t make any move.

Why? You may ask. I have been asking myself this question since Day 1. I do not know either.

She deserves better.

And so the story goes, he proposed in the 3rd year of relationship.

Not a month after proposal, they quarrelled again. He told her he wasn’t ready for marriage.

Why proposed then? Coz she threatened to leave if he doesn’t.

And things went well and bad, on and off, on and off, on and off...

Today, 20.09.2009, they are going for their ROM.

Normally, when i learned my friends are getting married, I’ll feel happy for them.
I am happy for A, if she is happy. I told her numerous times, she owed it to herself to be happy. Stick with her decision if it makes her happy.

Obviously, she is not that happy.

Few months ago, he told her he didn’t feel the chemistry for her anymore. He lose the kind of feeling when they got together.

Few days ago, he told her he is not that committed to the marriage. She asked if he wants to call-off the ROM. He said she should do it if she wants to, but he wasn’t going to do it.

And so, the next day, they patched up again. Got some wedding favors for guests who’ll attend their ROM.

Do not think A is an ugly woman. She is a pretty one, friendly, smart, educated and kind woman. It’s just her life, the decision she makes made her less happy (or so I perceived).

I really hope her marriage will work well. Although many says leopard will never change its spots. I sincerely hope B will change for their marriage sake.

My opinion in this issue:

I know she doesn’t want to tell her best friends about him ill-treating her that much. They started to hate him back then, she doesn’t want them to hate him more. She wants them to be happy for her. Seriously, they want her to be happy, just like I do.

I just think that some times, we’ll have to play hard to get with men. Do not let them think we can’t do without them. Instead, make it a point that we can live or live better without them, at times.

For the man, I think it is really irresponsible to propose and move ahead with wedding if that is not what he wants. It is going to be a high price to pay. His reason of moving on: she is a nice girl, and he likes her. He knows he’ll regret if he doesn’t marry her, but he doesn’t have the heart to marry her just yet.

Happy ROM, A... bless..

0 lil' thoughts:


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