Friday, February 16, 2007

I am back in KL....

I am back in KL, for Lunar NY. Yet another year, but something different.

Last few years, there have been some discussions with then boyfriends, whose home to visit first or stay longer, some sort of arrangement and compromise, one way or another. This year, I am alone, all alone that I do not have to think of visiting anybody except preparing myself for the dreadful reunion with high schoolmates.

Today, many things reminded me of Bas. Mum tried to ask if Bas is still hanging on and I think I actually saw her face fell when I said yes, Bas has moved on with his life. Well, sad to say, I missed him a little. I missed the massages he used to give me when I am too tired, just once or twice whining that he was tired himself. Missed him a little when little princess mentioned “gor gor” in her bubbly chats.

I really have to admit, and announce to the world that he had treated me really nice despite his frequent lies and unromantic way of loving. CJ said perhaps if Bas proposed earlier, I accepted earlier and we got married earlier, then I wouldn’t even bother to think of how our love is. Perhaps one day, when I realise his love doesn’t work for me, it will be too late to change anything.

Well, it is definitely too late to change anything now. I will just have to live with my own decision.

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